What I learnt in 2011

When it comes to relationships, you will never understand what she is thinking. But if both are willing to spend the rest of your lives figuring it out? You have found her.

There are times when people do not try, yet exist perfectly in unison. Then there is the complete opposite. I can try the hardest to be a part of your life but I know my place now.

Guys and girls can be just friends (on the surface).

Unexpected disappointments slowly become expected reality.

(Merry) Christmas

It is Christmas once again. Last Christmas, my heart belonged to someone who broke it this year.

Amid the festivities, parties and merriment, I feel alone. Accustomed to the excruciating reality that no one will love me for who I am, this loneliness feels bittersweet.

I am sick of who I have become. Weak, defenseless, fragile to a fault; how can I continue to pretend to be fine? There are days when I feel like hiding somewhere, blocking out everything that would bring tears to my eyes.

Waking up to every morn that breaks me down a little more takes its toil. Some nights I try to sleep and hope I feel nothing. Not anymore.

Thank you

Thanks for your laughter;
Your smiles, your words made my day,
With you beside me.

Do I dare?

It is 13 days to the end of this year. It will then be 488 days to my ORD. By 2nd January next year, I will be left with 1 year 4 months. That is a long time away.

The future excites me. So much unknown and so many knowns to decide on.

But the now scares me. I am afraid a wrong move will destroy everything I hold dear.

Question is then, do I dare? To risk it all on a game of chance and to possibly lose it all, never earning it back.

"And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;"

I don't think I can...

It's not just words

In the                      left

Right where you told me 

you needed 

to

go

stay

please.

510

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I'm happy now.

Delusion

I am delusional. There are no other words to describe myself. There is no other way to explain the insane hope that fills my every fibre.

No, nothing changes just because I dream.

I need something good right now.

1

1 means so much more. It is novelty. The iconic symbol of firsts. A single index finger triumphant.

It stands, straight steadfast staring. Perfectly lonely.

We are One. But within the One lie ones, a sea of binary that seemingly lacks nothing.