"Don't wish, don't start,
Wishing only wounds the heart..."
It has been a while since I have blogged. Halfway through my post, I realised that I have used those lyrics in multiple posts and overused would be an understatement.
The truth lies in the context when your wishes do not come true. When they do though, the heart sings, yet it weeps for what might have been.
I wished for a chance to study a certain course. I was denied that chance locally. Now, two offers lie waiting overseas. They wait, but I am uncertain if I should accept one.
A friend of mine would be happy to have a single offer (he was rejected from all), but these rejections give him a second chance to apply to new places and see where he could go. The lack of options open new choices, and I would love to have that right now.
I wanted to reapply to a college of my dreams. I did not think I would love it that much. Visiting it recently though has condemned me to staying outside, looking in.
I cannot forgo what I have already been given. The returns would be great, more than I could ever imagine. But, the sacrifice is too much, the gamble too large. Certainty given up for uncertainty - a definite irrational choice.
My heart pines for the irrational. This feeds the indecisiveness I have grown to hate.
Lord, give me the courage to firm the offer.
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